You Were Made For Love
In this life, I've experienced living without the LORD. Many things that could have caused me to question His existence ~ But there's been so much more that has proven to me through many years, not ONLY does He EXIST...But I was made for His purpose!
Some might interpret the phrase,"being made for His purpose" to sound like we had no choice in the matter, and they would be correct. But, we do have the gift of "free will" and the God given right to exercise it. We CAN choose to let God love us and to love Him.Or not. He created us because He wanted "a family". He welcomes us with the loving arms of a Holy Father and He's not concerned about changes in your life right now, He's excited and overjoyed that you have come to Him. To be loved BY Him!
I have always "believed". Even as a little girl... somehow I just always knew. I never felt alone and having the mind of a child, I didn't really know why. I didn't know the God of the universe was with me constantly. I wasn't raised in a "practicing" Christian home, so there were no answers to questions I might have.~ I remember being sent to church on Sundays with three older siblings. We were dressed nicely, every hair in its place and toting our Bibles which "crackled" when opened, just as they did when they were new. You know that sound... the first time you open a Bible with the gold edged parchment? They never lost that sound, because the only time they were opened was at church on Sunday mornings, where our parents sent us... alone... I assume to have some "alone time" from four kids. ~ My childhood wasn't great. I spent much of my time diligently building a life of walls to protect myself from vulnerability and pain. But, my heart always sensed "something".
I would "try" to pray, but had never really been taught how except for the repetitive saying of "grace at dinner", and the same "Now I lay me down to sleep..." bedtime prayer. I didn't realize when I would "talk" to God throughout the day, that I WAS praying! Every word from my heart at that moment and God LOVED it. (Psalm 6:9 "God hears my simple prayers; He receives my requests". (1 John 5:14 "We live in the bold confidence that God hears our voices when we ask for things that fit His plan".)
God finds sweet and pleasant, the true words which come from your heart...
God is NOT some "fearsome power" who has no time for "little ol' you". He doesn't care what you're wearing, . He doesn't care if you're on your knees or sitting on a bar stool.. He doesn't want eloquent poetic speeches... He just wants the words your heart is breaking to say.~
We spend so much time .wondering: 1) Does He even see me?. 2) Does He even care? 3) How could He love me. 4) How can I become "good enough" before He will notice me? 5) If He loves me, why has so many crappy things filled my life? 6) How can He forgive me for things which I cannot forgive myself?! 7) Does He hear me when my heart breaks? 8) Where was He when certain things happen? 9) Why does He let so many horrific things happen in this world if He truly loves us? 10) Why do I even exist?~~~ .
Life creates rough edges around "who we are" and "who we become" when we live life outside of God's love. Yep... I said HIS LOVE. That is what He is all about. Why else would He have taken the time to create...YOU? You were "Created to be loved by Him". No matter where you've been or what you've done... You're never too far gone that God can't find you. ~ I know this personally... because throughout my life I tried to run away from Him. I've been angry at Him and wouldn't speak to Him or acknowledge Him. I've returned to "old habits" of which I knew He didn't approve. I've been suicidal, self harming, anger controlled, and much more, KNOWING... God existed. ~ The amazing thing...He would NEVER let go of me...even when I let go of Him. It's impossible to run and hide or escape God's love in anyway. Even in death, you're not relieved of His love for you. He's waiting... what words are in your heart? From your lips to His ear.